So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
