this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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