Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
