i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My orgasm happened in two different decades
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
