onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
