Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
