no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
