If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she told me i tasted like america
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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