He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
