Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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