plz talk dirty to me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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