I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I understand Curling. That high.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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