winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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