He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
