Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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