You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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