I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
