Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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