The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
