I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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