why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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