Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
