Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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