He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
