Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You are a booty call, not a friend.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
