The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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