funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
