My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
