I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
