So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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