is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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