you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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