another moral hangover. fuck.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
