Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
