I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
