thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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