Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
