Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
