There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
