Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
barbara walters just said penis...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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