She told me I should be a condom model.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
