Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
