I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
