You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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