She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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