I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
