I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
