I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
