im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
