I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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